Hi, my name is Sara, and I am addicted to sugar. Phew feels good to get that off my chest. Here is a little something about me. I don’t drink, or smoke, or stay up too late at night. I know. I’m a total nerd. But I do have one guilty vice, and it’s sweet, sweet sugar. I have loved dessert and all things sweet and rainbow-colored my entire life. My dream is a day spent on a boardwalk with unlimited cash indulging in funnel cakes, sticky cotton candy, sickly sweet lemonade, ice cream, salt water taffy, and fried Oreos. Just thinking about it is literally making my mouth water! It does not stop at sugar. I love and crave salty, fried foods and carbs galore. It is hard not to find the irony in the fact that my boyfriend is a Type 1 Diabetic, and sugar and carbs are his literal enemy.

They say opposites attract, right?

I consume something with an ungodly amount of sugar every single day. My beverage of choice is an ice-cold Coca-Cola. However, I only have one once or twice a week (even I know it’s bad to have one of those suckers every day), and I love a sugary coffee drink. An iced-caramel coffee with half and half? Perfection. I love adding hot honey to many dishes I make, just to give it that little sweet touch. I’m constantly craving pasta or white bread, and I can demolish a bag of chips without thinking about it. Fortunately for me, I have always just naturally been slender; people have always been amazed by how much food I can eat! But I know that this metabolism will not last forever…

I don’t like to eat; I loveeee to eat.

Nothing brings me greater joy than sitting down for a well-anticipated meal with my family. But lately, as I am approaching the ripe age of 25, I have noticed my body and mind asking for a bit of help. They are like, how can we get through to this woman? Let’s make the jeans a little tighter (or a lot), the headaches more frequent and intense, and her energy like an off-the-rail rollercoaster. Maybe that will get her to listen to us?

See Exhibits a,b,c,d,e,f,g….above of my daily treats.

I started to pick up on what my body was telling me in the Spring. But you know, as my own best friend, who am I to deprive myself of my favorite things? “I worked hard today; I deserve this ice cream cone, dammit”! Or, “I walked 4 miles today, I can have buttery pasta (with vegetables, I’m not a monster) followed by popcorn with chocolate chips for dessert tonight, and no one can stop me!” I can convince myself of anything I want to believe, and I am quite the persuader. Even though I genuinely didn’t feel good, I couldn’t find the balance my body was craving. Two great days of eating were followed by three days of not-so-great choices.

But last week, I went away on vacation with my family to glorious Maine. There, I realized I needed to reel this party in. As I gasped for air on all of our hikes and cursed the day I was born, it became evident that something was not working. The only thing getting me through the hikes was the promise of a sip of the sweet Power-C Vitamin Water swinging half-hazardly in my backpack. I enjoyed my fair share of buttery seafood all week long, usually sandwiched between a fluffy potato roll and washed down with french fries and a milkshake.

Oh, and a lemonade, fresh-squeezed, because Maine is classy like that.

Eventually, the fun ended, and I decided that it was time to make a change when I got home. But I am the queen of treating myself and have a hard time denying myself whatever I’m craving. So, I knew I had to do something drastic. Enter the Whole30 diet. I have decided to baptize myself with fire and jump into a healthier lifestyle with two feet. On the Whole30 diet, I won’t eat any sugar (like at all….if its an ingredient in a hot sauce, I can’t have it, wtf!?), no dairy, no alcohol, no grains or processed carbs (no bread, rice, oatmeal, pasta, chips, nothing), no beans or legumes... really zero processed foods. If it comes prepackaged in a bag with a bunch of ingredients, I am not eating it.

So what can I have? Whole foods! This means fruit, vegetables, eggs, meat, seafood, potatoes, nuts… that’s about it. I am incredibly excited for this reset to my body and to kick my horrible sugar and ‘white carb enthusiast’ habits. This strict, black-and-white program is precisely what a gal like me needs. I am not looking to quit sugar for good, as I strongly believe in the beauty of dessert. I am just looking to shift my gears into neutral and recharge my battery for a bit!

I will update you on how the program is going, how I’m feeling, and if I have six-pack abs yet.

P.S. If you picked up on the Wedding Crashers quote, we can be friends.

Sugar Addict Goes Rogue. Enter the Whole30 Diet